Loving You Blindly

I was beginning to regret having worn my favorite red off-shoulder blouse and pleated skirt inside the movie house because I was shivering in the cold. But I took the huge risk because I knew perfectly how my favorite pair of clothing will impress my boyfriend. He loved it whenever I showed a little more skin but if and only if he was with me. I love how he compliments me - he never fails to make me feel as if I was the most beautiful woman on earth.

The movie hasn't begun, and the cold was already enveloping us. We found good premiere seats. His hand was holding mine. The feeling of having him all to myself in the dark tickled me. It didn't occur to me that he was smelling the side of my neck as he murmured, Bango naman ng Baby ko...I love you! Another smile curled my lips. Wala bang I love you too? He teased. So I answered back, I love you too, Baby. After a few subtle kisses on the cheek, his cellphone beeped. He quickly checked who it was and buried his eyes on the message. I saw him reply to the text as if he was being chased after.

Uy, bili ako ng food gusto mo? Kelangan ko narin kasing mag-load, may kelangan akong reply-an. Limang piso nalang yata laman nito! He whispered La akong bulsa, By. Hawakan mo muna 'tong cell, baka mawala ko lang. You know how careless I am. I nodded and kept the phone safely in my hands. He slightly pinched my cheek, said I love you again under his breath, and took off.

The movie still hasn't started. I closed my eyes and gave a hearty yawn.I almost fell asleep when I felt his phone vibrate violently. The name Michelle was blinking.

Who's Michelle? I thought to myself. Even before I could press accept, the phone stopped vibrating and displayed 1 missed call. The message icon was also blinking - meaning Michael's inbox was full. I had to delete old messages to pave way for incoming texts. So I did.

Five messages came in immediately, all of which were from "Michelle." Without hesitation, I opened them one by one.

Ha?! Anong wg muna ako text?

Kelangan natin mgusap ngyn na! Nsan kb kc?

Can I text you na?

Text moko if coast is clear.

R u still with her?

I felt my heart do a somersault in complete confusion. What did the messages mean? Who was that HER Michael was still with? I felt cold sweat forming around my forehead and nose. I took a deep breath. So I pretended to be Michael and replied casually to the text messages. She replied in a matter of seconds.

O, baket ka ba text ng text? May problema ba? Musta?

Hi Mike!!! Ano ng balita sayo? Baket ngayon ka lang nagreply? Kanina pako nagpaparamdam! Kasama mo pa ba si Shayne?

I thought I was just stabbed right in the chest when I saw my name in Michelle's text message, but I continued replying with Michael's phone.

Oo, bumili lang ako ng food. Iniwan ko si Shayne sa loob ng sinehan. Baket ba kasi? Di mo pa kasi iwan yang babaeng yan eh hihihi! Love, tuloy ba tayo bukas?

Ah? Ewan ko, ikaw ang bahala. San ba tayo bukas?

Diba sabi mo pupunta tayo ng Laguna?

Ako nagsabi nun? Ah oo nga pala, I promised you that. Eh ano bang plano mo?

Ano? Ikaw nga ang nagplano eh! Baket parang binabalik mo sakin ang tanong? Nakalimutan mo na ba? 4 months na tayo bukas! Dapat astig ang out-of-town natin! Swimming tayo siguro tapos dinner... Alam mo na siguro ang ibig kong sabihin, love!

I lay motionless. The movie began. I felt my head spin violently - my vision was now blurred because of the big teardrops gathering in my eyes. But I blinked them away and replied as fast as I could. I knew Michael was on his way back to the cinema any minute now.

Oo sige na basta sabihin mo yun ang gagawin natin! Ang bilis ng panahon noh 4 months na tayo. Parang kelan lang... O sige pano ba ang plano bukas? Sabihin mo sakin ang nasa isip mo HONEY Hmmm.... Basta bring your car nalang! Tawagan moko sa bahay tonight so we can talk ha? Love you lots! Mwah mwah! (smiley face)

I tried to reply I love you too, but the phone displayed Check Operator Services. The whole world must've stopped before my very eyes. There was nothing more I could feel except for the tears rolling down my cheeks and the freeze that was now killing me inch by inch. I stared at the big screen while my thoughts drifted away... I couldn't find the right words to describe how i felt that moment. Images of another girl and my Baby deeply in love with each other flashed in my head. And all this time, I was sharing Michael with someone else... That all this time, there was another woman whom he had his right arm around... The tears were all coming out now. I know people around me were already staring, but I was no longer thinking rational. Emptiness devoured me that instant...

From a distance I noticed a familiar face walking up the stairs towards my seat. I cleared my throat, cleaned my face, and took several deep breaths. Michael was on his way to our seats at the center bunk.

I love you, Baby! Michael kissed me on the nose. Sensha na! Tagal ko noh! Dami kasi nakapila dun sa binilhan ko Sensha na, sensha na... He put down the plastic bags and held my hand tight. He kissed me softly on the lips and whispered passionately, I love you Shayne! I love you Baby ko...

I didn't have the strength to answer back. He went on.

Oo nga pala, simula bukas, may fieldwork kami. Baka next week na ang balik ko. Hindi ko pa sure kung saan yung site, so baka walang signal dun. But I'll try texting you whenever I can, ok? I love you, Baby ko!

I wanted to shout at him, scream at the top of my lungs, but no sound came out. I couldn't make myself say anything. I turned mute... my body was as numb as ever. O? Wala na naman bang I love you too dyan? Dapat lagi kang nag-I-I love you too! He laughed.

I felt something vibrating on my lap again. It was Michael's phone - another text message. Michael saw it blinking and immediately read the message at a distance. But I was able to read what it said: Kelan ka pa natuto mgtext in small letters? (smiley face) tsaka baket honey na ang twag mo sakin? Hindi na ba love? Bago na ba? (smiley face)

There was a long, long awkward pause. I thought the world has just stopped revolving. My lips were sealed and the tears were already flowing freely - I could no longer control them. Michael looked straight at me, with his jaw half open. His eyes were round and bigger than usual, full of questions and fear. We just stared at each other, not knowing what to say. I felt the whole world sink and disappear, leaving only the two of us alone in the dark.

After a few seconds of silence that felt like forever, I swallowed the big lump in my throat with all my strength and bitterly whispered... I love you too, Baby ko...